Day 10- Journey to the Past

Day 10 - describe your first love and first kiss

These are different.

Hmmmm.... what's the criteria?  I remember all of my engagements (is that a sad statement?), I remember my early-on first kisses.  I must have reached some point somewhere when I stopped keeping track of such things...

I guess we can start with first kisses:

The first kiss I ever gave a guy that wasn't related to me or some friend my parents were like 'give him a kiss to' was Chris Pope.  I was way ahead of my time because he grew up to be our Senior Class President.  Nifty, eh?  Anyway, I say way ahead of my time because I was in first grade- that's right, I was 7 years old.  Scary, right mom?

I fear my kids (if they're anything like me).... like really.

Anyway, it was a fun spring day.  Kelly Patrick and I were talking (and friends oddly enough- I guess we were too young for me to become super strange just yet- cuz we weren't friends later in school).  She asked me to distract him because he was chasing her.  I oddly did the only thing I could think of- which was to kiss him.  Hey, movies do a good job with this- kisses seem to be super shocking and stop people from what they're doing.  It worked!  He totally stopped what he was doing, simply stared at me, and blushed.  Anyway, he ended up with a crush on me or something.  He gave me two beaded necklaces that he had made.  I actually think I still have them in Ohio.

First real kiss: Dan Clark.  I was 15 (late October so I just turned 15) and my mother told me I wasn't allowed to date (regardless of what all the other girls were doing- way to be LAME mom!)  So, we would meet up in secret (I seemed to be spending a lot of time outside in the park.... hmmmmm....)  He lived nearby and would walk up behind my house in the thick trees and wait for me.  We ended sharing a kiss directly behind my house.  This was shortly before breaking up with me because I wouldn't introduce him to my mom (he didn't get that I wasn't allowed to date, mom didn't approve, etc- he only thought "she'll love me once she gets to know me").  Mom would've loved to have killed him- mr black fingernails (but not Anthony- he was from middle school and I only liked him).

First real kiss that-wasn't-with-a-douchebag: Sean Wenzel.  At 15 (spring my freshman year), my mother allowed me to date him (for some totally odd reason of which I don't know).  She knew that he was moving but LOVED him.  She still lovingly refers to him as 'Shauncey".  He's gay, btw, with his lover and baby in California.  She still doesn't believe it.  We kissed on the bench in his mother's front-yard garden.

My first love:
Brian Benjamin.  I guess I never described our story on this blog (mainly because it was a marriage page for Steven and me- but that's beside the point).  So, Brian and I met on a train fire in the middle of nowhere somewhere in the Great Plains.  Doesn't that just sound like "sayyyy whatttt????" Exactly.  It was like some twist of fate.  I was always very imaginative, but I don't think that even I could come up with a better story.

I was 15 (ding ding ding?!- this was also after Sean and Dan).  It was the trip home following my Philmont trip (because all good things are associated with Philmont).

Just to give some perspective, this was the year of the forest fires at Philmont that wiped out about a third of the camp.  I hadn't showered in 9 days because there wasn't ANY water to waste (I showered immediately upon return to base camp, but couldn't on the trail and there were no rivers because everything had dried up).

Essentially, we're in this tin box in the dead heat of summer with windows that don't open.  I'm not entirely sure what happened initially, but the power went out.  We rode for a few hours like this, the engineer finally pulled over after a few people PASSED OUT.  The workers were taking off their uniforms and just pretending to be normal- it was really sad.  My father and I were doing everything we could to take care of the sick people (first aid- told you I started young!)

We finally stopped somewhere.  A few workers looked between the cars, but couldn't fix it.  They also didn't let us off the train.  It sucked.  We continued for about an hour or so longer.  We showed up way late at our next port.

It was hilarious.  Angry, hot people were desperately trying to get off the train while the other angry, impatient people were desperately trying to get on.  In the meantime, a worker was trying to fix in between the sleeper car in front of us (also the first car behind the engine which knocked out power to the rest of us- thank you very much!!)  Mass chaos erupted when that engineer got a fireball to the chest that threw him several feet in the air and he landed against cement several feet away.  I had the bird's eye view of this.  I was on the train trying to grab something so I was standing in the doorway of the car when this happened.  I was only a few feet away from him.  I knew he was dead.  It was my first experience with a traumatic dead person.

Anyway, moving on.  We left maybe 4-5 hours later.  This poor station was literally in the middle of nowhere.  There was a Dollar General across the street and then nothing else really.  We had to walk everywhere.  I grabbed Stacey and we bought some drinks and sat outside at the station for the remainder of the time.  We were both trying to avoid my father who was a little irate at the events of the episode (so to speak).

With the first sleeper car gone and my car now burned up, they took the cars off the train and put us at the very end.  We were actually put in coach cars that were on their way to be scrapped as junk- nice, right?

While everyone was boarding and the air wasn't quite on yet, I stood in the doorway enjoying the breeze.  A man was there too (not sure who was there first).  He had a boy standing next to him.  They weren't talking but the boy kept poking his father.  Finally, the man turned to me and asked me the time (he was OBVIOUSLY) wearing a watch.  I told him the time, then he introduced his son, Brian.

Stacey and Dad sat upstairs (closer to the meal car).  I opted to stay on the bottom level in the front row with Brian.  We talked for nearly 8 hours straight.  He lived in northwest Indiana, I lived in Ohio (didn't seem that far).  We were 8 days apart (he was 8 days older).  He was on the sleeper car ahead of me.  I was coming from New Mexico, he was coming from a trip to the Grand Canyon in Arizona.  It was probably 1:30am when we finally arrived in Chicago (we were supposed to take a flight from Chicago to Dayton to go home).  We were supposed to arrive at 4pm the prior night with a 8pm flight to Dayton.  As we pulled into the station, he asked if he could kiss me.  I said, "I don't see why not".  The older ladies behind us that kept commenting on our budding romance actually gave an audible "aw, that's so sweet".  I especially remember when he wrapped his arms around me I could definitely smell his BO- hey, it'd been a long day.

When the confusion started with everyone exiting, I never thought I would ever see him again.  It broke my heart even if I didn't know him yesterday.  To my father's dismay, though I don't honestly think he cared too much, I kept running off and just looking for him.  My dad was in the complaint line since we missed our flights, had no where to stay and no flights any time soon.

I was able to find Brian near the Taxi bay (thinking back- that would've been a HECK of a bill, Hobart to Chicago would nearly be a 90 minute drive).  He ended up writing his email address across my arm.  He also gave me the necklace from around his neck.  He kissed me on the cheek and vowed that we would see each other again.

He didn't lie.  He's my longest relationship to date spanning 5 years.  It was a long distance relationship and probably the main relationship to ruin all future long distance relationships.

Back in the day (I feel ancient), we would buy phone cards to talk to each other long distance.  It was like $20-30 for like an hour.  We mostly talked by email (every single day).  For the first few years, I only saw him 2-3 times a year.  His mother came down the first time and met my mother, who wasn't on the trip with us.  He was also the reason I even got my first cell phone.  My first phone was 25 cents a minute for the first 10 minutes then 10 cents a minute after.  My second phone was the first color phone EVER (I also bought it myself with my job at the Calendar store).  It had the same plan, but this one received free text and was only 10 cents to send a text.  This changed a lot of stuff!

Brian gave me his everything.  He worked extra hours and got a job to buy a car to come see me.  He spent a lavish amount of money to stay in the only hotel that would rent to a minor with his mother's notarized letter and credit card.  He spent $100 a night for a suite (it had to be a high end place that would accommodate like that).  He taught me to be adventurous.  He was the person I first went bungee jumping with.

After 5 years (now 20), I lived in northwest Indiana.  We both went to the same school.  I asked him where the relationship was going.  He stated that he wasn't ready for marriage but thought he might be in a few years, specifically around 26-27 (which would be like NOW for me...)  He wasn't very religious and after posting a pic on facebook of Jesus rapping, our relationship fizzled out.  We didn't have a definitive fight or end.  We simply reached an impasse and stopped seeing each other.  To this day, I still wonder 'what if' kinda.  It dropped off some after I realized our kids would be screwed religiously- which is a major thing that relationship experts tell you is incompatible.