Day 50- awful day

day 50: why you are doing this challenge?

Such an interesting question for such an awful day. Trust me, as the day went on, it got worse.  

It also intrigued me that I realized my particular answer may be dependent upon my mood,  had I felt empowered like I did yesterday, I'd be all like, 'definitely! I'm doing this to be the totally awesome me and to do totally awesome things like keep a 365 blog!!'....

Today, for one, I want it to be over. Mostly so I can just go and do all the same crap tomorrow.  For two, I was attempting to write a 365 as a type of commitment trial thing,  I don't know why I felt it necessary to prove it to myself that I was able to do such a thing, but I do.  I mean, if I can actually keep this going for a full year, I have hope, right?  

Commitments are scary.  All you have to do is say the right things, do the right things for a time, and get some sucker to fall for it. Blam. You can turn around and take it all back in a heartbeat- like it never even happened.  Just leave the person there to pick up their own pieces, not like you care, right?

I understand that there is always and will be some element of risk, but man- sometimes that risk is heavy.  It sometimes just doesn't seem if its on the right side of the balance...

All of that had like nothing to do with all the stuff that happened today-  just something to project my feelings on. Well, I guess it kinda has to do with the prompt.  The whole prompt is now just a projection...