Mixin it up x 2!!

It's been a confusing day.  I had a very busy day at work.  Off an on I was chatting with PD.  We started talking about weddings and engagements and such.  I got kinda caught up in the novelty of it- there's always something exciting about a wedding, right?!  Anyway, we had a 'fake date' to shut up his co-workers that were harassing him.  We talked that the date wasn't practical in reality as it was too soon and his brother would be in Iraq and all.  He totally backed out- he said he didn't, but when you agree to drop it completely- that's like the end.

So in my fun, fragile state of mind, I learned that we have Good Friday off work- (we really do?!)  It was kinda funny.  If no one told me, I TOTALLY would've been at the front doors knocking to get in (my keys only work on my office and clinic).  I know that PD had mentioned that his mother's birthday is April 1 (Monday).  He also mentioned that it was her wish that I be there for it (I guess that she had even asked him to ask me to come up to visit).  I figured that's a fair and mostly cheap-ish present  (seriously, why bring it up if you didn't want me to even consider it?)  I mentioned it to PD, he shot me down flat.  More than once.

I guess I had been pushing too hard (sorry).  It wasn't long after that conversation he ended with, Babe, I have lodge (masonic meeting) tonight.  If you're still up and about, I'll talk with you.  I just want to know that I don't want you I ever think that I don't want you."  Be sure to read it carefully.  It broke my heart immediately because all I read was I don't want you ever.  I didn't say anything, but I ran it past Debbie who was so upset she even called me from her work phone to talk about it.  She thinks that either I pushed too hard, he thinks he overstepped a boundary, or the interest isn't there anymore.  Sadness.  She did say that it was out of character for him- I don't know.  I guess I'll just stay here the weekend- I mean, I should relax anyway after a busy spring break, right?  I can't hold him to the same standard as I think (Mars vs Venus)- my first reaction would be excitement before being all like 'omg, that IS a lot of driving, are you sure? vs.  you don't need to, but I won't stop you and now I feel bad.  I guess our fight is my fault after all anyway, I did mention my past engagements and I'm sure that was probably TMI and a bit overwhelming.  Maybe that's why he doesn't want me anymore....  hmmmm..... just still fixated on Friday....

Anyway, Friday is Good Friday, and I will TOTALLY fill it with CHOCOLATE, ICE CREAM, FUDGE, and all other things HORRENDOUS!!!!  It will be GLORIOUS!!!

So, Debbie, Alice, and I were working out and Alice even told me she made a cake before showing up (which is why she was late).  She invited me for sugary epicness on Saturday, Debbie invited me for Easter festivities on Sunday.  I see a few pounds in my future.... better start running!