When You're Fast Asleep

A dream is a wish
Your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you will lose
your heartache
Whatever you wish for you keep
Have faith in your dreams
and someday
a rainbow will come smiling soon
No matter how your heart is breaking
if you keep on believing
the dream that you wish
will come true

But does anyone talk about what happens after this song??

Oh that clock, oh kill joy
Come on! Get up you say
Time to start another day!
Even he orders me around
Well there's one thing
He'll never order me to stop dreaming
*sigh* and perhaps someday

The dream that I wish will come true.

She then gets ready to go around the house and do the chores.

She endures YEARS of this hell.
She was completely alone
Doing ungodly, hellish work
It isn't until she loses absolutely ALL hope
that her fairy godmother swoops in to save her from herself.

I'm realllllllllllly stubborn.
So, I guess it may never come true...

I feel like an idiot.  And 1- it's all my fault 2- I overgeneralize things 3- I can't help but be a dreamer while 4- being so stupidly stubborn.  Today is moving day (yay!  finally!)  I didn't really tell anyone I was moving.  I had this stalker problem (and who knows where he was getting his information)  He could've put a bug in my room or something so I (paranoid) never mentioned it.  I mean this guy KNEW things, so I wasn't taking the chances (the only thing that keeps me from going completely crazy is having the tangible evidence).

ANYWAY, PD and I had been talking about makeshift daydreams.  It's imagery.  I use it to relax some of my super anxious and stressed students.  When traditional relaxation techniques don't work, I try to find something more relatable to that particular person. I have them create dreams- so to speak.  So with this mindset, I went to bed last night.  I had received a text at the gym from PD saying that he had a busy day tomorrow and wished me luck with my move.

That led to this morning, I dreamt that I awoke to a knock at my door.  Fearing it was stalker-boy, I didn't answer.  Shortly after, I got a text that said, "I'm here to help you move sweetie!  Surprise!"  I was borderline horrified.  I thought about lecturing him about how I don't like surprises when I secretly kinda do.  I told him I wasn't home (lie) so I could clean up a little and get dressed.  I guess he stuck around and I fessed up to lying.  He had rented a car, so we laughed about taking FOREVER to load tiny piece by piece of my crap in Mesquite and driving it to northeast Dallas (25 minutes one way) in my car.  We teased.  We laughed.  We kissed.  It was a productive, wonderful, beautiful day. At the end, we sat on the floor (because I gave away my couch to someone that needed it sooner) and I made a simple dinner.  After (as a thank you), I bought him some dress pants (cause he didn't bring any) and we went to the YSA conference dance.  I even saw us spin on the dance floor.  What a beautiful dream.

Then I woke up.  There's a reason I love to dream.....

PD texted me early and my heart began to race (deja vu?)  It didn't last long as he described some meetings, chores, and a funeral he had told me about earlier in the week.

I guess it only super hurt because I'm weird and nuts.

??

Yeah, I know.

He could have mentioned him moving alone to me earlier in the week.  I would've maxed all my credit cards (if I had to) and cancelled everything for the weekend and I secretly would've rented a pick up truck and surprised him first thing in the morning with a 'let's git 'er done attitude'.  Even if I couldn't get the truck, I would've taken my motorcycle down.  I don't believe anyone should have to do anything alone.  But this is where the 'it's all my fault'- comes in.  I didn't tell Debbie til last night and she said she'll help me move tomorrow- what I don't finish today.  I didn't tell Alice at all.  Scott already moved and even when I told him- he asked me to drive to Oklahoma City as this is his last weekend in OK before moving on to Colorado and I'll probably never see him again.  JFK actually offered to help in the morning and I shot him down.  It's his last YSA conference (which started yesterday) and I think he should go!  I won't tell my home teacher as he's the only one I have and I'm not going to guilt the wife of the Alzheimer's man.  There's nothing more painful than being useless and I would never want her to feel that way.  And I've never met my visiting teachers.  I guess that leaves me alone, again.  It's not THAT big a deal.  I've moved alone before.  I was lucky enough to have Bill (who now has the jealous-girlfriend type so he had to stop talking to me) and Debbie's family move me out.  I moved across country twice alone.  I can do it again.  I still have years before I give up- if I ever give up at all.... ya know.... because I'm stubborn as hell!

"Oh yeah, it will happen someday.  Maybe not while you're moving... but I'll show up for you"

It's always someday, isn't it?


Someday my prince will come 
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know 

Some day when spring is here
We'll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true