Two Parter so yeah... just hold on...

Nothing could destroy the wonderessness (yes.) of this day.  I woke up invincible to the world, the devil, and anything else that would come along to destroy me.  I felt empowered.  I felt loved, but more importantly- I felt like I actually mattered to someone.

I had a 'normal' crazy day.  I got off to a late start since I was writing on my blog and trying to figure out what happened to that first paragraph of it?  I gave up and decided to leave it since it was only a small part:

Before:

Michaels + working = *~FUN~*

During:

names + touching = seriously???

After:

Michaels + crap on top of crap = I QUIT!

They never even paid me for my time there- how horrible!

Anyway, not even remembering Michael's treatment could destroy my day.  Yeah, my day was amazing.

There was nothing hugely out of the ordinary for my day.  My first patient visit involved police and shouting, threats and fear- but sadly, that isn't unusual.  I saw my patients.  I actually ran ahead of schedule when one patient had an appointment and cancelled.  I thought I would finish super early around 5pm, have a wonderful dinner (plus the time to eat it properly!)  That patient called me around 5pm and asked me to come out, but that didn't destroy my day either.  I accomplished some final VT visits with my sisters from my old ward.  I'm going to miss them dearly, but I was still having a great day...

My day was full of commercial free music -thank you 106.1 and Monday!  and daydreams.  I know that I haven't known Ross very long, but I liked him from the first time I met him.  I definitely got carried away with my daydreams of dating, first real kiss, adventures, adventures, and a few more adventures- one included riding a hot air balloon.  I thought how romantic a proposal that would be- but never imagined it.  At least, not at that moment.  It was nice to dream about something other than winning the lottery I don't play- even though I dream about that several times a day- stupid billboards.  It felt tangible.  Here I had this wonderful, an actual wonderful man who liked me.  I realized in the early afternoon that I was actually feeling euphoric after realizing I hadn't eaten since early morning and wasn't even hungry.  That dampened me some but concerned me more.  I realized how I wasn't even right for him- here was this wonderful man- never married, no kids, wonderful life plan- what on earth was he even going to see in me?  I had the baggage of a large cargo train while he  had a small carry-on.  I talked my feelings over with Rachel (my teaching companion) while we were waiting for out visit.  She was such a comfort talking about how the Lord puts different people together for different reasons and how it always works out eventually.  She told me I was being too hard on myself.

I spent a few more hours daydreaming, feeling comforted by Rachel's words.  I even thought of an episode of Friends that I had seen earlier- it's a bit different, but still compatible:
Monica started to have some feelings when she realized that she would never experience a first kiss again (since she was engaged and going to marry Chandler).  She talked about it for a time with her friends then later in the episode brought it up to Chandler.  She explained, "Doesn't it bother you that you won't have the fluttery, loving feeling of the first time of anything again?"  [paraphrased]  and he responded with something like, "well, let's see.  First time date would bring on sweating, palpitations, and nervousness" and with Monica's add of "what about sleeping with anyone else" where again Chandler added, "more sweating, palpitations, and even more nervousness".  He went on to add that it was exciting that it was the last time and the future had so much more to bring.  I felt so excited.  Besides, who doesn't like a good daydream- whether or not it was probably some unhealthy euphoric state.

My mother called and I talked about our date from the day before, my mother flipped some and was telling me not to be so excited.  She told me I wasn't ready for a relationship, I was going too fast, wasn't I still thinking of my ex occasionally?, and you're going to get hurt.  It dampened me some more, by I know that she was speaking from my past experience.

I was worried some when the office gave me a late night patient originally scheduled for after 6:30p.  I really wanted to go to FHE (church activity) [since it is my new thing to make FHE and Institute a priority].  We arranged the visit for me to be there at 9pm, in a bad part of town, meeting the patient for the first time, yay? Even this hardly affected me.  I was going to FHE and nothing could bring me down completely.